Okay. Can you be my attorney?
Me: "Your Honor, I was not creating an excessive wake."
Judge: "Constable, what say you?"
Constable: "I witnessed the defendant creating an excessive wake".
Judge to my attorney: "What do you have to add, Counselor?"
Attorney: "Your Honor, at the time of the alleged excessive wake, my client was insane".
Attorney: "Yes, your Honor. Insanity. My client had to be crazy if he was on Lake Conroe in the Summer on a weekend".
Judge: (Gavel slamming) "Guilty as charged. Next".